For many of us, the journey of knowing and understanding who we really are is the journey of a lifetime. People grow, change, and undergo transformative experiences throughout their lives. For those of us who suffer from alcoholism and addiction, we find ourselves very lost, even totally waylaid from this journey. We become fully obedient to our disease, losing all sense of direction and sacrificing our personality, dreams, joy, and growth. We lose sight of what truly matters in life, as we give more and more of who we are up to satiate our disease. That’s why it’s such a blessing to find people at Jaywalker Lodge who can help us on the path to recovery.
Mere sobriety is a wonderful start, but it’s not all most of us need to really thrive. Entering into the wider, deeper world of recovery has almost innumerable benefits, but one of the most intense and beautiful gifts of recovery is discovering our real self, while simultaneously losing the selfishness that worsened our alcoholism and addiction.
Who Am I?
It’s easy to get so dominated by our disease that we don’t even recognize ourselves anymore. We’ve forgotten where our lives were headed and the things we enjoyed. Sometimes we don’t even recognize our own face in the mirror. Alcoholism and addiction take complete control over our lives and every part of our being. For those of us who know the pain of such a life, we can easily say that making an effort to engage whole-heartedly in the 12-Step program of recovery at Jaywalker Lodge was the most incredible thing we ever did. Of course, we didn’t do it alone. We couldn’t have. We needed the intervention of a higher power and the love and help of many people. But we are so grateful to be on that path now.
Yet recovery can also be a disorienting time. All the things we’re familiar with — our hobbies, habits, friends, activities, thoughts, and feelings — revolve around the disease. Many of us find that once sober, we no longer recognize ourselves again. But this is distinctly different from the lost sense of self many of us experience in active addiction or alcoholism. Now, we are recovering, and we don’t know who we are because we’re finally separated from the drink or drug that has been killing us. Many get scared at this point and wish to seek familiar comfort. But this shouldn’t be a scary time. In fact, it’s our first chance in a long time to be away from drugs or alcohol long enough to remember or discover who we really are and who we’re meant to be, without the crushing dominance of our fatal disease.
This process is scary because we’re separating from what we’re familiar with, but what we’re familiar with is the disease and how it has been destroying us. Having to relearn about ourselves and our lives isn’t a punishment — it’s our chance to come back to life. It’s our chance to break free, learn who we are, what kind of life we want, and how to be happy again. Don’t let negative, fearful thoughts play their dirty tricks on you. Too many people allow the discomfort to run them right out of recovery when if they had just a little trust and patience, they would soon find themselves beginning the journey of a lifetime — the journey of finding their authentic selves.
“Self” Isn’t Selfish
“Self” is a delicate concept in recovery. For most of us, for so long, “self” was all we thought about. Self-centered fears and selfishness are two of the biggest causes of pain and destruction in the life of an alcoholic or addict. Getting to discover our “self” again in recovery usually means the exact opposite. We aren’t seeking to feed our egos, but to break their grip on our minds so we can be free to live our lives. This involves treating our emotional and spiritual wounds with the 12-Steps, giving up our selfishness for service, and giving up our fears for faith. As we engage in this process, we find the first person we lost to alcoholism — ourselves. We are able to experience peace of mind, presence, and confidence like we never could before.
It’s an experience that should be felt first-hand by everyone. It isn’t always easy to describe the difference between ego-driven self and the free, joyful self that emerges as we work the program of recovery at Jaywalker Lodge. The best way to understand the fullness of the beauty that awaits you is by giving yourself time to really work the full 12-Step program of recovery. Try a year with us, and see if you like who you are. We already love you — if you give it a little time, we think you’ll find a person worth loving, too.
Alcoholism and addiction ravage the lives of those who suffer from them, stealing hope, dreams, and ambitions. Warping spirits, minds, and bodies. Suffocating dreams, goals, and bright futures. By working the 12-Step program, many find the restoration and renewal of what was robbed from them by their disease. At Jaywalker Lodge, we have known both sides of the equation. Now that we are in recovery and thriving in happiness, joy, and meaning, we encourage anyone who needs help to reach out to us. Let us help you discover the numerous and powerful rewards of a life in recovery, so you can rediscover yourself.
To learn more, call Jaywalker Lodge today at (866) 529-9255.
As Chief Executive Officer Bill provides leadership and manage all day-to-day operations of Jaywalker Lodge, an extended care residential addiction treatment program for adult men.
